oh no, I am not one of them

you may not believe it
but there are people
who go through life with
very little
friction or
distress.
they dress well, eat
well, sleep well.
they are contented with
their family
life.
they have moments of
grief
but all in all
they are undisturbed
and often feel
very good.
and when they die
it is an easy
death, usually in their
sleep.

you may not believe
it
but such people do
exist.

but i am not one of
them.
oh no, I am not one of them,
I am not even near
to being
one of
them.
but they
are there

and I am
here

— Charles Bukowski

I am the lost heart of a murderer

“I sit in the forest talking of death
which is monotonous:
though there are many ways of dying
there is only one death song,
the colour of mist:
it says Why Why I do not want revenge, I do not want expiation,
I only want to ask someone
how I was lost,
how I was lost I am the lost heart of a murderer
who has not yet killed,
who does not yet know he wishes
to kill.”

—	Margaret Atwood